


hallucinations

by yitaeon



Category: Senyuu.
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hallucinations, ruki isn't here that much sorry, there's only dialogue at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 09:06:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7041862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yitaeon/pseuds/yitaeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alba may or may not be seeing things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hallucinations

**Author's Note:**

> a little thing i wrote a while ago to see how angsty i could possibly be. also, my first fanfiction (that i'm posting publicly, that is)...

It takes a while for Alba to get used to it. He swears he sees a glimpse of black at the corner of his eye, sometimes. At times, it's not black, but red, and sometimes it's a dark navy blue, or steam flowing out from a pipe. It never stays for long, and just as Alba has the chance to react to it at all, it's gone. He sees his pink haired companion, and considers telling everything in that moment - but then he sees her saddened expression almost mirroring his own, and no words come out, but a tsunami of emotion envelops him suddenly, and something comes out of his eyes instead of his mouth and _no, he's fine, Ruki, he's not crying, it's nothing--_

He's not sure if he would've known what to tell her, anyway.

Hallucinating a friend long gone was an extremely concerning thing in itself, and upon further thought, it would be better contained within Alba's own mind. It wouldn't solve very much. It wouldn't bring the soldier back.

For the fiftieth time, Alba spins his head round so fast that he's positive that his neck should've broken, with dizziness overtaking his body and vision a hurricane; and for the fifty-first time, he is met, once again, with the sound of wind mocking his devastation.

Ruki doesn't say anything. Alba hopes that it's because she understands, and not because of his decaying sanity. He laughs softly and half-heartedly, hands fumbling at the back of his head and muttering an apology. Ruki smiles in an attempt to show forgiveness, to tell Alba that everything will be okay.

Both of them know that she's lying.

* * *

Alba wakes up one morning, on the floor - he can't remember how he got there, or why he did, but these days, it wasn't an unusual occurrence. He wipes off the cold sweat with his left hand, and it lingers on his eyes for a moment, as if doing so would simply extinguish the sun's irritating gaze. Reluctantly, he manages to sit up, and goes to make some sort of beverage to take his mind off things. That's when he sees it; a figure, doodling all over the two-room lodging's cups and tables with reckless abandon. Broken shards are scattered on the floor, beyond hope of any kind of repair. The all-too-familiar figure looks up at Alba, and smiles, pointing very unhelpfully at the black marker in its hand, as if the situation required any further explanation.

Alba is quite awake now.

He takes a deep breath, ready to scream. But then he opens his eyes, and there is no pen, there are no doodles, and there is no mess of china anywhere. There is no figure. And although Alba should be glad that he doesn’t have to replace the vandalized two tables and ten cups, he can't explain why his blood turns cold, and why his heart suddenly hurts.

Ruki enters and brightly greets Alba with a joyful 'good morning!', and Alba returns the greeting hastily, trying to remember what he wanted from the kitchen in the first place.

* * *

A smooth blade makes its mark across yellow flesh, moving swiftly with almost no friction and leaving a trail of red in its path. There is little struggle – the attacker is too nimble for the thing, and too skillful. A cry rings through the air.

The nisepanda staggers a little, lightheaded from the loss of blood, and tumbles onto its side with a thud of defeat. Alba's job is done. In the distance, there's a shadow. He sees it, but for some reason, it doesn't seem to pose much danger. Panting slightly, Alba sheathes his sword slowly, and rubs his eyes. He's more tired than he thought he was, apparently, as the irritating ringing noise in his ears still have yet to cease. He bends down to catch his breath, his hands clutching his knees to steady himself.

Although it had to be more than six months since he'd gotten out of prison, it was evident that the hero was still nowhere near as strong as he would have liked to be. Just simply overworking himself, and being revered as the world's saviour wasn't enough to bestow Alba, really, with the title of 'Hero'. If he was going to save anybody, he'd have to do better.

Those kind of thoughts are what pops into Alba's mind when a high-pitched and urgent scream pierces his eardrums - it takes a whole five seconds to fight his sleepiness in order for it to register, and it's five seconds too late. A monster at least twice the size of the nisepanda approaches Alba with a deadly speed, and a claw is raised high above his head; its grotesque eyes glint crimson, and saliva disgustingly crawls down its chin, flying in every direction. Alba can only scream in agony when it digs a mark across his vulnerable body, and the world goes black.

When he stirs, he's met with Ruki's teary eyes. He's told that another hero managed to reach the creature in time for them to slay it before it could worsen his injury any further, and the young demon lord hurriedly healed him to the best of her ability (when he looks down and behind him, he sees a rushed job of bandages wrapped around his wound, and he confusedly wonders if the world has something against his torso.). He's told (read: firmly ordered) that due to the sudden loss of blood, he should rest for a while, since healing magic could only go so far. Ruki's shaky voice asks Alba about why he didn't do anything about the monster when he saw it; in a weak mumble, he says something about how 'he thought that there was _somebody_ who would have saved him, no matter what'.

He falls asleep with a small, warm hand covering his, and a ragged, cold scarf clenched tightly in the other.

* * *

After that, Alba starts laying out utensils for three again, instead of just two - every time upon realising his mistake, he had always clumsily tried to mend his error, promising himself to never do it again - it kept happening regardless, and eventually Alba stopped trying to cut the habit. Ruki just let him do so, sometimes even helping out by straightening the odd fork or spoon here and there.

For one reason or the other, it just feels right for both of them, and slowly but surely, Alba starts wondering if the shadows he sees really are simple hallucinations - and if Ruki could see them too. He just hopes that his food won't get stolen, at any rate.

* * *

_“Hero. What exactly are you doing?” An amused voice resounds throughout the cell. The hero in question is poking at his arm, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion. “My arm does not need tenderising, and your work does need doing.”_

_"Ros…are you real?” Alba says softly, averting his eyes. “You’re not a hallucination, are you…?”_

_Ros is speechless for a moment, the question taking him for surprise. Then, almost instantly, his expression changes into a smirk. “Well, hypothetically, if I were an illusion, then we can prove it~!”_

_“H-huh? Prove that you’re not a hallucination? How?”_

_“After all…can a hallucination do this?” He picks up the heaviest textbook on Alba’s desk and lifts it above Alba’s head with familiar ease._

_“W-WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THA—“_

**Author's Note:**

> get new glasses, alba
> 
>  
> 
> \--  
> Critique would be greatly appreciated.


End file.
